I had a little break from treatment, and happened to feel wonderful.  I took it as the perfect opportunity to squeeze in a session with this chunk-a-licious baby boy!  Is he not the cutest little guy you have ever laid eyes on?!?!?!

I have been wanting aching to do a session with a family on a bed in a field for quite some time.  It is not a new idea.  I have seen many other photographers do this, and I’ve always thought it was just perfect.  I had to find the right bed frame (which turned out to be just a $5 headboard from an antique store).  I had to find the right family (I knew Lovelyn‘s would be up for this!).  Then, I had to find the right space (a field I had permission to shoot in with the right low hanging branches to hang paper lanterns).  Once I had all of this into place, it was just a matter of getting everything set up and in place.  Who knew that day my husband, who hadn’t had overtime for months, would be working.  To say I freaked out a little bit would be completely accurate.  I was frantic that I wasn’t going to be able to get this all set up on my own.  Good thing we have a truck, and I’m not too much of a weakling.  Oh, and did I mention this was the day before chemo treatment #12 of 12.  Yeah, I was tired, stressed, but also so. incredibly. determined. that nothing was going to stop this session from going off without a hitch.  I made this happen, one of my dream shoots – while having cancer and going through chemo. And, for that, I can say I am pretty proud. The results just thrill me over and over again each time I look at these images.  But, for me, it is so much more than the light, exposure, even the setting of these photos.  There is SO MUCH in these photographs that bring me to tears these days each time I look at them.

For those of you that don’t know me or follow my updates on facebook or my personal blog, I am currently waiting to find out if I still have cancer.  I will most likely know on Dec. 8th.  The past few weeks have been trying.  I haven’t been able to work at school through my treatments (I am a 5th grade teacher).  Luckily, I’ve had photography to give me something to keep me going physically and mentally.  It’s been one thing that the cancer hasn’t been able to take away from me through all of this.  I am so thankful for it.  I tried to post this blog on Tuesday morning, but I couldn’t get through this part without dissolving into tears.  I’m not exactly succeeding right now, either.  Tuesday was one of the hardest days I have ever faced.  Yes, battling cancer has been tough.  It isn’t nearly as hard as it was to come to grips with what Tuesday brought. On Tuesday, I drove to Indy with my mom to visit my Godmother, Robin.  Robin was recently diagnosed with stage 4 inoperable pancreatic cancer.  I had been down to visit her once since her diagnosis, and she had just one chemo treatment under her belt.  We laid in bed and talked a lot that day.  I will forever cherish that day.  The love and connection I have with this woman is more than I can express in a blog post.  She is like a second mother to me.  She has always been such a bright, warm, welcoming, loving, perfectly wonderful piece of my life.  I’m not sure how much is appropriate to share in this post, but I will just say that the reality of her situation was drastically set into focus on this visit.  I had started to come to terms with the severity of this all, but the first few moments of our visit hit me like a ton of bricks.  I realized, really realized, that cancer may permanently take her from us.  And, we TALKED about it.  I don’t know how to wrap my head around that.  I again, laid with her in bed, holding her hand, the both of us bawling, affirming our love for one another.  We were both desperate for the other to really, truly feel and understand how much we meant to one another.  What a wonderful blessing to have that moment, yet what a horrible feeling at the same time.  It is so strange to me to have those two feelings and so many others together all at the same time.  Thankfulness, love, fear, sadness, anger, hope…..all hanging out in the same place.  It is a challenge trying to understand how to manage them all.  To say this has been hard for me is an understatement.  To say this has been hard on her is not even starting to describe what she has been through.

Today is her 60th birthday.  I love her with all of my heart and then some.  I could never tell her enough how much she means to me. Happy Birthday to my most special Godmother.  Love you bunches and bunches, forever and ever.

So, what in the heck does this have to do with these photos?  These photos give me something to smile about.  These photos give me hope.  These photos give me something that defies cancer, that defies the crappy parts of life.  These days I am clinging so tightly to anything that brings that into my life.  In these photos, there are so many of those things……like…………

these 5 faces

the love between twins

(My Mom is a fraternal twin, Robin is an identical twin. and I have twin brothers.)

the joy in simple moments

that I got to witness little guy is showing us “the wheels on the bus” and the robot. 

those two expressions – aykm?  :swoon:

childish wonderment residing with the sweetest heart

baby cheeks and smiles

joy in simply being with the ones you love

snuggling on a bed with the ones closest to your heart

This photograph means the most to me….I see so much in it.

I see how different emotions, that don’t normally seem to go together can reside side by side.

I see the eyes of a mother loving on her children and dreaming of the future.

I see SO MUCH LOVE.

I see that empty space on the bed where there is always room for more.

Thank you for being a part of my life.  Thank you for letting me share in your beautiful journey.  I love you all, and please know how much you do for my heart every time I get to see you!

Thank you for letting me capture these moments for you and for being so FUN! 

I can’t tell you how much I love this image below.  I think it is the cutest!!!!   What characters!

Please don’t forget about the benefit tonight for Aubrey.

TODAY! Please come and support Aubrey Deno in her fight against leukemia November 6,2010 at Buddy and Pals in Winfield from 2-9 pm. There will be many raffles & silent auctions. I will be donating a gift certificate for a session + full session cd ($2500 value). You will have every image from your session in high resolution format for you to do with as you please! If you are interested in a session, THIS is the ultimate package – you walk away wanting for nothing! Please come out and support this family and this precious little girl.

On Saturday, November 6th there will be a benefit at Buddy – n – Pals in Winfield for Aubrey Deno.  Aubrey is ONE, and has been fighting Leukemia since August.  Here is an article about Aubrey and the benefit. There will be a silent auction and raffles.  I am donating a gift certificate for a session + product ($2500 value).  Please, if you can, stop by to support this sweet little girl and her family.  Below is a video of Aubrey.  It breaks my heart to think of this precious, little angel undergoing chemotherapy.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her parents to watch her go through this.

much cuter than this.  A family of redheads?!?!?!   Yes, a little piece of photography heaven.

What do you do with 2 feisty kiddos that are DONE at the end of a session?  You allow them to throw grass at their parents.  Duh. 

I just adore this little guy.  He is so stinking sweet.

There is not much to say, except – GORGEOUS!!!

She is so incredibly adorable!!!